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What to Wear for Boudoir: Dressing for Presence, Not Performance

Thursday, December 12, 2024 | By: Amber Holmes Studio

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Let's get one thing straight: I don't do costumes.

I don't have a rack of shared lingerie in the corner of my studio. I'm not going to hand you a sequined bodysuit that seventeen other women have worn. That's not what fine art boudoir photography is about, and honestly, it's not what you should be about either.

When you step into Amber Holmes Studio, you're not stepping onto a stage. You're stepping into yourself.

The Thing Nobody Tells You About Getting Dressed

For most of my life, I dressed to disappear. To take up less space. To avoid comments about my body, my style, my existence.

I got bullied. Hard. And somewhere along the way, I started believing that the safest thing I could do was blend in. Be smaller. Be quieter. Wear whatever wouldn't draw attention.

It wasn't until I did my own boudoir session a few years ago that I realized: I had been performing invisibility. And it was exhausting.

The shift wasn't about suddenly loving my body overnight or becoming some body-positive warrior. It was simpler than that. I just stopped giving a damn about dressing for other people's comfort.

That's what I want for you too.

What You Wear Matters, But Not How You Think

Here's the deal: what you wear during your luxury boudoir photography session isn't about looking polished or picture-perfect. It's about presence.

Presence isn't performance. Performance is external, it's about how others perceive you. Presence is internal. It's the feeling you get when you put something on and think, Yeah. This is me.

You know that piece in your closet? The one you bought because it made you feel powerful, sexy, alive: but you've never worn it because you're waiting for the "right time"?

This is the right time.

I'm not here to dress you. I'm here to guide you toward the pieces that already make you feel like the most honest version of yourself.

 

What We Don't Do Here

Let's talk about what you won't find at Amber Holmes Studio:

No shared studio wardrobes. I'm not handing you a communal corset or a one-size-fits-nobody bodysuit. Your session is yours. Your wardrobe should be too.

No costumes. If you want to play dress-up, there are places for that. This isn't one of them. We're after something real here: not a character you put on for an hour.

No pressure to perform. You're not here to contort yourself into some Photoshopped fantasy. You're here to exist as you are. Fully. Unapologetically.

What We Do Instead

I give you guidance. You bring the pieces.

Before your session, we talk. I ask what makes you feel powerful. What textures you love. What colors make you feel alive. What pieces you've been too scared to wear.

Maybe it's a silk robe you bought on a whim. Maybe it's your partner's oversized button-down. Maybe it's that black lace set you've been hiding in your drawer because you convinced yourself you're "not the type."

Spoiler: You are the type. Whatever type you decide to be.

My Guidance (Not Rules)

Here's what I usually recommend bringing:

Something soft. A robe, a slip, an oversized sweater. Something that moves with you, not against you.

Something structured. A bra that fits well. High-waisted underwear. A bodysuit. Something that gives you shape and support.

Something bold. Color. Texture. Leather. Lace. Whatever the hell makes you feel like you're not playing it safe anymore.

Something meaningful. Your grandmother's pearls. Your wedding ring. A piece of jewelry that tells a story.

And here's the thing: fit matters. Not because I'm judging your body: trust me, I've spent too many years hating mine to judge anyone else's. Fit matters because ill-fitting clothes make you feel like you're fighting your body instead of inhabiting it.

Get things tailored if you need to. Invest in pieces that actually fit your shape. You deserve that.

 

The Real Reason I Do This

I didn't start Amber Holmes Studio because I'm obsessed with lingerie or lighting or lenses.

I started it because I spent decades feeling like I didn't belong in my own skin. And when I finally did my own session, something shifted.

It wasn't about the photos. It was about the permission.

Permission to stop performing. Permission to stop apologizing for taking up space. Permission to just... be.

If you've never felt at home in your body: if you've been made to feel "less than" because of your size, your scars, your age, your anything: I get it. I've been there.

And I want you to know: you're safe here. You don't have to perform. You don't have to be smaller or quieter or more palatable.

You just have to show up.

What Happens When You Dress for Presence

When you stop dressing to perform and start dressing to feel, something shifts.

You stand differently. You move differently. You breathe differently.

You stop worrying about whether you look good enough and start noticing how damn good it feels to exist in clothes that honor you.

That's what I'm after in every session. That moment when a client puts something on, catches herself in the mirror, and exhales. Not because she looks perfect. Because she feels present.

That's the magic. That's the whole damn point.

 

So What Should You Actually Wear?

Whatever makes you feel alive.

Seriously. That's it.

Bring the pieces that make your pulse quicken. The ones you've been too afraid to wear. The ones that feel risky or bold or vulnerable.

Don't worry about matching sets or Pinterest-perfect aesthetics. Worry about what makes you feel powerful.

I'll handle the rest.

Because here's the truth: the best images from your session won't be the ones where you look most polished. They'll be the ones where you look most present. Where you forgot to perform and just existed.

And that? That only happens when you're wearing something that feels like you.

Ready to Stop Performing?

If you're tired of dressing for other people's comfort: if you're ready to reclaim your presence and stop apologizing for existing: LET'S TALK.

Your session starts with a conversation. We'll figure out what makes you feel powerful, what you're afraid of, and what you're ready to step into.

No pressure. No judgment. Just honest guidance from someone who's been there.

BOOK YOUR SESSION AT AMBERHOLMESSTUDIO.COM/BOOKING AND LET'S CREATE SOMETHING REAL.

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